How would you like to go on YouTube and find a video made about your 13 year-old daughter? The video you find is two girls narrating a book that illustrates different ways that your daughter may die – dog attack, electrocution, drowning. All of her fears brought to life by two girls that don’t like her. You go to the school board with the video and they tell you they cannot do anything about it because it did not happen at school. The parents of the culprits are angry with you because you went to the school board and now you are the bad guy. This is my friends experience with cyber bullying.
I was horrified when I heard this story. I think that the victim was saddened most by the thought that many of the students in her school had viewed the video. Bullying has been around since the dawn of time; however, it now is a whole new monster. The “old” bullying was done face to face or maybe a hateful note was slipped onto someone’s desk at school. The victim went home after school and the bullying stopped, at least for the day. There was always the possibility that you would not see the bully the next day or he/she may have found a new victim. Now, cyber bullies can bombard their victims 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Statistics show that 42% of kids have been bullied online and 58% of those kids never told an adult (Based on 2004 i-SAFE survey of 1,500 students grades 4-8 ).
The only way that this type of bullying can be prevented is through parental control. Parents must monitor what their children are doing on-line by restricting use, keeping the computer in a location in the home that is public, talking to their kids about cyber bullying, and not being naïve. Also, school authorities cannot turn their back on cyber bullying because eventually it will become the schools problem in one way or another – whether the fight continues on school grounds, a student commits suicide, or a student retaliates with violence against the student body.
Your friend’s experience is a sad one and unfortunately this happens more than any of us know. Even the statistics probably aren’t accurate because students are afraid to say if they are really being bullied. Schools can and should do more since most of these relationships (or lacks thereof) start at there and that is where most will escalate to more severe problems. We can’t ignore it and think it will all go away. What would the school board have said if the bullying went past the threat and became more serious? Would they continue to be blind because it didn’t happen on school grounds? That’s crazy to me.
ReplyDeleteLastly, I agree with you that parents have to do their part as well. Monitoring the things their child do on the internet is important, not just because of bullying but other serious attacks on our youth are also out there.
I agree with you, it is the parent’s responsibility. School officials can make students sit through bully assemblies and watch videos on prevention, but until the parents start to get involve there will be no resolution.
ReplyDeleteI too believe that in order to eliminate cyber bullying, kid on computers must be monitored. Like one the classmates stated, I check the history on my kid’s computers, if I leave the room. The only computer in my house is in my bedroom and it has difficult passwords. Surprisingly, many of my friends feel that I am invading my kids privacy. They are 10 and 12 so when it comes to technology their privacy is limited. I would rather invade now, then find something incriminating later.
Also because, my children have been provided email accounts from their schools I randomly check the messages that they received, sent, and DELETED.
When you hear of stories such as your friends, I feel that we are in a state of emergency and it causes for drastic measures. Parents must collaborate with schools and educate their children. Bullying is not simply a verbal comment on the playground anymore: but something that can haunt children throughout their lives.
What a sad story about your friend’s daughter. I too was surprised to hear that schools did not have much power over cyberbullying if it happened off campus or after school hours. I also agree with you, Michelle and Tiffany. The parents MUST be held accountable for the final education and overseeing of this kind of activity. I do not think that Tiffany was invading her daughter’s privacy by checking their accounts or giving them limited access. I think it is being a supportive, proactive and intervening parent. These are the types of parents I love to have in my classroom!
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